Ohio, Day two

Awoke in a very cold van when my alarm beeped rudely at me at 7:22. Snooze. But *had* to get up. Turned on heater and then crawled back into warm bed and waited for things to warm up a bit. Rain was falling, and I felt dozey and lazy. Never the less, I needed to rally and get the rig dow the road to the auto shop so they can check a few things out for me. Wiper blade needs big repair--driver's side wiper is bent or has lost tension; the wiper does not wipe! Oil usage will be explored, and that silly dangling hose will get a look-see. Hope it goes quickly so I can walk down the road to get it and carry on.

Yesterday was filled with very moving surprises. Steve came home mid-day after I'd spent time outdoors on my own, and we got in the car and went exploring. We hadn't spoken much about when/where since the day before, so I just got in and allowed things to unfold. I wish I'd thought a bit more before getting in the car to take off. We went to visit my Grandmother's grave, but I did not bring along anything to offer, unfortunately. We spent time remembering her there, and also saw her parent's and some of her sibling's graves. I picked up and straightened Leroy's and Leona's little headstones. They were twin siblings of hers that died at just a few months of age. There was also a brother, Arnold, who died at ten; how heart-breaking. The Quarry Bank cemetery looks good, much as it did the last few times I have visited.

We then went to pick up Steve's 90 year old mother; Lila is still strong and sharp, and looks wonderful. She helped by handing over 2 folders of information about my Dad (her first husband), and about his Dad, Earl. Earl was murdered before I was born. he got my grandmother pregnant at 15, married her when she was 16, he 22. They were divorced after just a few years. He was an auto mechanic and "jack of all trades", skilled at manual labor, apparently. He also drove a cab and made deliveries of prescriptions to many patients for a big pharmacy. He was also a serial womanizer, apparently. He was murdered in 1957, when he was 57, by a man in a jealous rage. He was shot in the neck, paralyzed, and lingered painfully in the hospital for a few days, and then passed. The murderer received a life sentence for the killing. My father never said very much about him, he hardly knew him. Earl had been ostracized in life and neglected in death.

We found out where Earl was buried, and the three of us went to the cemetery. We received help from the staff, who directed us to an area. We eventually needed names nearby, as it became clear that Earl Hill and a few others were buried in a certain place, but there were no headstones. No one placed a stone for him, not even a marker. This makes me feel very sad. What were the demons? Why did his life unfold in that manner? Apparently my father became legally adopted by his step-father just before he enlisted in WW2. None of the family wanted Earl to be able to claim the 10K life insurance payment in the event of my Dad possibly being killed in the War. He was despised, pushed away, because of his bad behavior. This had profound effects on my young father.

I had a strong feeling about where Earl's grave probably was, and placed a loose flower there. After we got more info and discovered the nearby names, it was clear that the spot I'd chosen was very close, if not right on the spot. I said a few words and felt the pain this man suffered through his actions and the ramifications his behavior had on others, and his horrifying end. I hope that he can receive some peace and healing. There is still much healing and light-filled work to be done on his behalf, and for all of our family members.

Amazingly, I finally held a photo of him in my hands. I so wondered what he might look like. I'd heard he was dark, as was my Dad. It's a profile shot, and his eyes are closed, but you can see his profile, coloring, hair pattern. My Dad definitely bore a resemblance to him. I was speechless for a long time, just taking it in. There is still more to tell, but it will be shared later. I'm too tired to go on. 11:45 am and I need a rest. Oh my.