Ohio, Day two

Awoke in a very cold van when my alarm beeped rudely at me at 7:22. Snooze. But *had* to get up. Turned on heater and then crawled back into warm bed and waited for things to warm up a bit. Rain was falling, and I felt dozey and lazy. Never the less, I needed to rally and get the rig dow the road to the auto shop so they can check a few things out for me. Wiper blade needs big repair--driver's side wiper is bent or has lost tension; the wiper does not wipe! Oil usage will be explored, and that silly dangling hose will get a look-see. Hope it goes quickly so I can walk down the road to get it and carry on.

Yesterday was filled with very moving surprises. Steve came home mid-day after I'd spent time outdoors on my own, and we got in the car and went exploring. We hadn't spoken much about when/where since the day before, so I just got in and allowed things to unfold. I wish I'd thought a bit more before getting in the car to take off. We went to visit my Grandmother's grave, but I did not bring along anything to offer, unfortunately. We spent time remembering her there, and also saw her parent's and some of her sibling's graves. I picked up and straightened Leroy's and Leona's little headstones. They were twin siblings of hers that died at just a few months of age. There was also a brother, Arnold, who died at ten; how heart-breaking. The Quarry Bank cemetery looks good, much as it did the last few times I have visited.

We then went to pick up Steve's 90 year old mother; Lila is still strong and sharp, and looks wonderful. She helped by handing over 2 folders of information about my Dad (her first husband), and about his Dad, Earl. Earl was murdered before I was born. he got my grandmother pregnant at 15, married her when she was 16, he 22. They were divorced after just a few years. He was an auto mechanic and "jack of all trades", skilled at manual labor, apparently. He also drove a cab and made deliveries of prescriptions to many patients for a big pharmacy. He was also a serial womanizer, apparently. He was murdered in 1957, when he was 57, by a man in a jealous rage. He was shot in the neck, paralyzed, and lingered painfully in the hospital for a few days, and then passed. The murderer received a life sentence for the killing. My father never said very much about him, he hardly knew him. Earl had been ostracized in life and neglected in death.

We found out where Earl was buried, and the three of us went to the cemetery. We received help from the staff, who directed us to an area. We eventually needed names nearby, as it became clear that Earl Hill and a few others were buried in a certain place, but there were no headstones. No one placed a stone for him, not even a marker. This makes me feel very sad. What were the demons? Why did his life unfold in that manner? Apparently my father became legally adopted by his step-father just before he enlisted in WW2. None of the family wanted Earl to be able to claim the 10K life insurance payment in the event of my Dad possibly being killed in the War. He was despised, pushed away, because of his bad behavior. This had profound effects on my young father.

I had a strong feeling about where Earl's grave probably was, and placed a loose flower there. After we got more info and discovered the nearby names, it was clear that the spot I'd chosen was very close, if not right on the spot. I said a few words and felt the pain this man suffered through his actions and the ramifications his behavior had on others, and his horrifying end. I hope that he can receive some peace and healing. There is still much healing and light-filled work to be done on his behalf, and for all of our family members.

Amazingly, I finally held a photo of him in my hands. I so wondered what he might look like. I'd heard he was dark, as was my Dad. It's a profile shot, and his eyes are closed, but you can see his profile, coloring, hair pattern. My Dad definitely bore a resemblance to him. I was speechless for a long time, just taking it in. There is still more to tell, but it will be shared later. I'm too tired to go on. 11:45 am and I need a rest. Oh my.

Ohio

It feels great to be back in Ohio again. I haven't seen my brother in years, and it's spring, and there is much potential out there. I slept well in the rig in his driveway last night. Placed earplugs in at bedtime to thwart the work day traffic on the road this morning, and awoke refreshed. It's gorgeous outside; what we've got is a truly a picture-perfect early spring day.

I slept in a bit, spent a good amount of time organizing and cleaning my home on wheels. Savored my coffee and did a lot of yoga. Walked around and around the spacious yard and took some green, springy pics. Listened to some tunes and took some time to meditate. Did not get to auto garage yet, did not drive anywhere, did not make anything happen. I needed downtime, and that's what I am now enjoying. ahh.

Steve will be coming home from work mid-day and we'll go meet his Mom for awhile. She is very interested in genealogy and may be able to help me locate my Grandfather Earl Hill's grave and more. We will definitely go visit my paternal grandmother's grave, and many of her family are there as well. I'll be glad to be there with my brother, we last visited there together in the mid-nineties, when my Grandmother was interred.

I believe that we're headed across the river to dine at an Italian place this evening. Went there over 20 years ago, and it was fab, hopefully it will still be a pleasant experience. I have to study some maps, but my Dad used to love a hot dog joint in Wheeling, W. Va called Louie's. I think Wheeling is likely out of my way, but it sure would be fun to include a stop there if it were to be feasible. Nice to know that somethings really last, at least through several generations.

It's a bit of a stun to have the luxury to hang about, as I have been this morning. I am ready to get out now, however. Hope Steve gets home soon!

Little Rock and Memphis

The days are flying by so fast, and I have been so tired in the evenings. I haven't had the mental energy to write blog posts the past couple of nights as a result, so now I have some catching up to do. Although my days are primarily filled with driving, there have been stops along the way to break up the monotony of the road. In my last post I wrote about my second day in Oklahoma. The next morning I left the state and headed to Little Rock, Arkansas. The day was just about all road trip, and I landed at the North Little Rock KOA in the early eve.

I've become very efficient at getting into my spaces, even those that require "back-in" and not just "pull-through". Also quite proficient on hooking up my "home" to water, electric and sewer right quick. It's been pretty warm still in the evenings when I stop, necessitating the closure of all curtains in windows to stop solar gain (as well as gain privacy), and the running of the AC to get comfy enough to have my evening meal and relax. I've been going to sleep by 10 each night, and sleeping soundly.

When I arrived in Little Rock, I directly headed out for BBQ at a famous place called "The Whole Hog Cafe". It's a very popular place right downtown, but I chose to go to a satellite out in the 'burbs instead, so I wouldn't need to navigate little downtown streets and likely get lost in the process. Best pulled pork sandwich I've ever had--and 6 kinds of sauce on the table! Spent some time in a couple of shops getting supplies for the van and some food to restock my larder. Also did a bit of a walk around a small park in the neighborhood. As the afternoon wore down I headed to the North Little Rock KOA and settled for the eve.

BIG plans for the next day! I planned to drive 2.25 hours to memphis, visit Graceland, and then proceed another 2.5 hours to settle in for the eve at a KOA in Hurricane Mills, TN. I did indeed accomplish all three, I'm happy to say. Graceland was easy to find, had plenty of parking, and was run efficiently enough that I could do the whole thing (or at least the parts that interested me) in about 2 hours. It was just about what I expected, only maybe even a little better. It doesn't look that big from the outside front, but it spreads out in the back and has 2 floors for visitors (only the bedroom floor is off limits). It's locked and frozen in time with 70's decor---over the top, but not even as much as I thought it would be. Green shag rugs, for real, man. Lots of gold records. And Elvis, his parents and his grandmother are buried outside right next to the pool! Wonderfully weird.....

Had to buy some Elvis kitsch for friends and family, of course, and I couldn't resist buying the cheesy, posed pic of myself at the entrance to the shuttles that drive the crowds over to the mansion.

I didn't linger, however, as I knew I had another 3 or so hours to drive to get to my next KOA in Hurricane Mills, TN. Smack dab in the middle of the State, and right by a major highway---Route 40, the route that I had been on for days and days. Never the less, I put in my earplugs and got a good night of rest. I was going to shower, but time ran out, and, hey, how dirty can I be, and who would get close enough to even detect anything? I'll get around to it, eventually. Tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow.

Today I simply DROVE. Drove 2.5 hours, rested and ate. Another 90 minutes, time for a break and a walk. Another 3 hours, finally off of Route 40 and onto 81 North. I'm at the northeastern edhe of Tennessee tonight, just a few miles away from the W. Virginia and Kentucky borders. I'll be going through a bit of KY, the WV, then into Ohio, where I will beeline for Marietta, the town of my Father's birth. My brother lives just outside or Marietta, and I will be staying with him (parking/camping in his driveway!) for a couple of nights, maybe three. Then will be the final push towards home. One more night in a KOA in Pennsylvania, or Maryland, and then...HOME!

Oklahoma, Day One

Thursday was a good day. I slept well and awoke refreshed, then took my time getting "out the door", knowing that my drive time would be much less than yesterday's six hour-plus. No wonder I slept so well! Was able to take easy major highways just about the entire way. Mid day I stopped for a burger & fries, they called my order by my name, very sweet. Folks were very nice everywhere I stopped today, very gentle and friendly. The soft accent they have in these parts is quite nice. I drove about 3.5 hours and landed at "El Reno West" KOA, which is actually in Calumet. When I looked at the map it mentioned a nearby "Indian Museum and Trading Post", which sounded hopeful, as I am hoping to find a native drum in my travels.

Each KOA is eeerily similar, but vastly different. I was offered an easy pull-through spot right smack dab in the midst of 10 HUGE RVs. "NO thanks", said I, "have you got something quieter, more set back?" Sure, if you can back in, he smiled. Can I back in? Hell yes, it's only 21 feet long! Got one of the best spots in the place, under a cedar tree, hardly anyone nearby, with wooded land to explore just 15 feet away. I don't explore far when I am alone in unknown zones (I believe in playing it *very* safe when I am on my own)....but at least it's not all paved and packed in back here.

Slept quite well again, and had an easy morn, cleaning, organizing, sipping coffee at my picnic table. I knew that I did not have far to go, just down the road about 30 minutes to El Reno, to visit the grave of my maternal Grandmother, Mattie Callison Fox. Through my research on Ancestry.com and making inquiries to local historical record keepers, I knew which cemetery to visit. I even had a photo of her gravestone! Found the El Reno cemetery easily, and drove around a bit, seeking, until I saw an office, which was open, and inside was a man with a computer who looked Mattie up and showed me exactly where she was!

It's a bit of a complicated story. My Mother never knew she was not actually raised by her birth family until she was in her sixties. She had been trying to get a passport, and had difficulties, and it was all confusing, but she simply soldiered on. At some point, she began researching her genealogy and simultaneously (or almost) her actual birth Aunt passed away, and there was an inheritance, and a PI was hired to find her. Even this part is confusing, because my Mother never told us very much.

I had always, always been desperate to know more about my ancestors. Both of my parents were only children, I only ever knew my paternal grandmother, and I so longed for more information about who I was, who were my people, and where was I from? My parents were seemingly content to know little to nothing, and they had nothing to tell me.

My Mother did eventually go to Oklahoma, to attend a family reunion with her long-lost birth family. She mentioned it, but didn't share details. I was pregnant and then gave birth to my daughter, wrapped up in my own world, and didn't ask for or receive much info about the reunion; Mom kept it to herself. I found some stacks of papers and photos from this trip, and also of her genealogy research, in her home as we prepared to move her out of her condo and into an assisted living facility. Hungrily, I read every bit, but there were still so many questions!

Meanwhile, for the last 10 years or so, I had been doing a lot of internal and external work in honoring my ancestors through ceremony, meditation and on the web. Once I had access to my Mother's papers, it all came together, magically. A lifetime in the making--many lifetimes in the making, and suddenly--BAM.

I started to hatch a plan to get out to Oklahoma, where my Mother had gone, and to see, and to connect, in my own way. My husband and I had been discussing getting a camper van, and then a dear friend of mine in Colorado told us that he had one to sell! "it needs work, but I'll sell it to you at a great price". I flew out to Denver to retrieve it, and that whole story has been told here in previous posts.

Finally, after 3-plus weeks of me ill with flu, and the van getting even more work done to it than we expected, I hit the road. Within three days of the van's completion, finally, I was at the source! So, there i was, at the graveside of the grandmother i never knew by name, never knew where she lived, never knew anything about. Stunning. I stayed there for quite awhile, making offerings, saying prayers, singing, clearing, cleaning the space around, and staying still and silent in gratitude and awe. I left gifts, and thanked Mattie for her gifts, as well. She was buried along with her husband (not my grandfather), and her two sons, one who died at age one, and one who lived a very long life, buried without wife or children. Did he have children? Do I have cousins somewhere? More research....

It was a beautiful and truly awesome moment for me; tears of joy, tears of sadness, joy at being connected, and letting her know that I now know who she is, and honored and thanked her with my entire being. Joy, joy, joy. I drove back to my "camp" very happy indeed.

Oklahoma, Day Two

Slept a little less soundly after my first day on Oklahoma, but awoke in fine enough shape to get in the van mid-morning and head North to Kingfisher, where my grandmother was born, and where several generations of Callisons lived their lives. I knew the way easily, as the day before I'd gone to El Reno, which is on the way to Kingfisher, so the drive was a relaxed one. Great weather-sunny, warm, barely a cloud in the sky, and no traffic, which helped to make it a pleasant one-hour drive.

I headed straight for The Kingfisher cemetery, and with the help of a 22 year old photo of my Mother visiting the same site, and some persistence, I did eventually find the family plot. It has a large "Callison" stone in which "Gone but not Forgotten" is carved. There were a few graves there. One is my great-grandfather, Mattie Callison's Dad, Henry Clay Callison. Henry Clay was a famous and well loved U.S. Senator in the mid 19th century, and he was named after this fellow, interestingly. My grandmother's sister, my Great Aunt, Wilma Callison Snethen is also buried there. It is this Aunt who left money for my Mother in her will and helped to precipitate her reunion with her birth family.

There were many weeds mixed in with the grasses all around the cemetery; if I had pulled the weeds, it would be bare dirt, and they would just grow back, so I left them. One seems to wish to leave a grave side in nicer condition, if possible, it seems. I placed offerings, and did a simple ceremony to honor and show my thanks for their strength and gifts. There was a healthy cedar very close to my great-grandfather's grave. Some of the bark had fallen to the ground and I saved a piece to bring home with me; it adorns a wall in my van now. I love looking at it and recalling the time there. There were a few nice trees in their corner of the place, which pleased me, and must have pleased others, too over the years. I found myself wondering if any of my living relatives had been to visit there recently. There was no one else in the cemetery the entire time I was there, so it was very peaceful and still. I was not able to take the time to attempt to find anyone from the family who might be around here now, but perhaps I will one day.

The last thing I did was to tie a good sized chunk of frankincense to the cedar tree with some some waxed cord that I had. I hope the cedar enjoys the gift. It looked very sweet, tucked in amongst the bark.

I then went just a few blocks away to visit the "Chisholm Trail Museum" and right across the street, the home of Governer Seay, a Civil War hero and well-loved Governor. He lived in the "mansion" for nine years with a couple of his sisters, as he was unmarried. There were only five of us on the house tour, and the fellow working at the Museum simply came and rounded us up to say "I'll give you all the tour now". It was a lovely home, parts of it reminded me of my Grandmother's (my Dad's Mom) home in Marietta, Ohio. There were so many well-preserved artifacts in both the Museum and home, very enjoyable to see.

It was another easy ride back to my campground, during which I made a stop at a local big shop to pick up a few necessary items. Interesting mix of folks, certainly different than I see in my own neck of the woods most days. Nice to see the local flavors and behaviors and "stuff". Along the route I took to and from Kingfisher, there are a lot of churches, a couple of pretty sweet "downtowns", gas stations and fast food. I also passed the impressive entrance to Fort Smith, a very famous Army Station on the Chisholm trail. The famous "Buffalo Soldiers"--black American fighting men, were stationed here and worked hard and sacrificed much. Alas, I did not visit there, but it sounds fascinating.

Got back to the van early enough to wash a load of laundry and make myself a simple meal. I was tired, but it took me awhile to settle down to the point where I could fall asleep; there is a lot of internal processing happening, of course. And then there is the fact that I am driving hundreds of miles every day. My schedule is still loose enough that I only book my stop/sleep spot the evening before I am to drive there. I have to play it by ear. How far do I want to drive? How will it work, time wise? I like not having to adhere to anything very precisely to far in advance. I'm pretty much taking it as it comes. I had a route in mind, it's just the stops along the way that are flexible.

Looking forward to getting to my Brother's place in Ohio and staying put a bit. Not to mention, I can park the van and ride in a car a bit! Once I part from Ohio, I will feel I am on the home stretch. It will be good to be back, and I need to get back so I can have some recovery time and time with my family and time to catch up on all that needs attending before I turn around and fly to the UK mid-month!

Kansas

I finally got out of Denver early afternoon Tuesday--yesterday? It seems week ago, already.

The van was still being tweaked just a couple of hours before I skipped town. I decided to forgo a couple of minor fixes that could wait, and called "good enough" on all the rest. There are still a couple of troubling aspects; I am not thrilled with what happens when I fill the tank with gas; I see dribbles. But, hopefully it's just a few minor dribbles and nothing more dangerous. It's costing a fortune in gasoline--I figure it's going to be about $75/day. At 15 mpg, and despite having an approximately 40 gallon tank, you can imagine how many gas station trips I'll be making. I am not one to let my tank get below 1/4 full, and both yesterday and today, I re-filled when it was just under half; I'd rather have the gas full when the day begins than search for convenience and cost while on major highways.

I left Denver at about noon, and headed to Goodland, Kansas, which is just over the State border. It was about a four hour, sunny, relatively easy drive, although very windy. Settled into the Goodland KOA easily, went to bed early, and slept soundly. Awoke this morn, made my coffee, hit the (semi-hot) shower, and then the road. Today I was more ambitious and drove over 6 hours. Unfortunately, it rained much of time, and was even more windy. Stopped for a quick breakfast to go and pretty much drove non-stop, except to stop for gasoline. Kansas is boring...boring....boring. What you see in the photo is mostly what I drove through---all day. There were also a few small town centers en route, because I chose a path that placed me on some secondary highways. I had enough of super highway with NO curves or variety.

I saw swooping hawks, a pair of fast ducks, many fields full of cows and horses, and one field with a few buffalo. I saw dozens and dozens of silos--they all look alike--am I going in circles? There was big and impressive variety and beauty in the cloud formations and sky colors as I wound my way southeast.. Made one stop to pick up a few sundries in a drugstore, and was enchanted by the sweet older woman who rang up my sale; she had a soft, warm accent that I'd never heard before, very endearing.

The last hour was tough; I was getting weary, and was on a hard-packed dirt road when I was getting close to my goal---mud, stones and water flying in all directions. Awful. I had to wipe down windows and doors with industrial towels and rain-X once I arrived.

I was greeted sweetly, assigned a nice enough spot, and got my wifi codes. I also called a Pizza place and got pizza and a salad delivered right to my van. Hot, tasty and very satisfying. I had cold meals yesterday, which made me feel a bit sad inside. I plan on eating a lot more, as I have lost weight through illness and stress, and need to strengthen and fill out this bony frame more. BBQ, here I come!

Tomorrow I head into Oklahoma. I haven't yet decided where to hunker down for the night once there; I need to search in earnest tonight and book a place, as it's nice to know it's all set and waiting, and to be greeted by name. I figure that Oklahoma will look a lot like eastern Colorado and all of Kansas; flat, brown, and full of big American cars and trucks. Never saw so many BIG Fords and Chevys in my life. At one point, I saw a Honda and was very surprised by it. Not a Prius to be found in all of Kansas, perhaps? :-) I sure didn't see any......

I will land somewhere very near the land of my maternal Grandmother tomorrow--El Reno. I will be visiting her grave there, and also spend some time in Kingfisher, where she grew up, and all of her family are buried. I had considered looking up living relatives while there, but I am so behind schedule that I will not be doing that, at least for now. Will likely spend 2 nights there, so that I have time to really poke around, visit the Historical Society, and take a good amount of photos. I've been in such a rush to move, and have moved through nothing but fields so far--not much to photograph.

Not very exciting, yet. Maybe it won't be "exciting". I don't know what to expect, other than that every day will be different, and I will be moving ever closer to home in the process. I am at 1800 ft elevation now, and glad to be getting lower.

After Oklahoma, Arkansas! Greener there, perhaps? I look forward to seeing some actual spring!

It Won't be Long, Yeah......

I've been in Colorado since February 23; twenty days, almost 3 weeks. I never would have imagined that I'd be in such a long "pregnant pause" at the start of this journey. Most of that time I was felled by a potent flu, and now that the flu is fading (although the cough is stubborn), my spring allergies are kicking in; figures, yes? My Zyrtec pills were packed, now comes the daily dosing that will prevent my eyes, ears and throat from painfully imploding.

I've had access to my friend Kathy's Prius the past few days, which has helped my outlook a great deal; loss of mobility was wearing on me. I made a circuit all around Denver yesterday, traveling clockwise in a 30-mile circle to visit a leather factory and make a couple of other local stops. Beginning to get a handle on the lay of the land here.

One can sense spring in the air, but the eves are still pretty chilly, and trees and grasses have yet to take on the yellow-green glow of spring. Much more brown here than in New England, certainly. I've been at altitude for weeks now, but it still isn't good to me. That trip to Bhutan may not be in the cards for me, after all; I suffer all sorts of maladies at altitude. Sad.

All of the mechanical work on the Van is now complete. New stereo, radio, Sat Nav, Bluetooth, a new set of speakers and a security system are being installed right now. The final pieces---new seats--will be installed after that, and then we should be good to go. I am gaining my own strength back, slowly but surely. My route has been morphing a bit, heading out in a more southerly direction, hitting several States that I've never been to, and perhaps having warmer weather along the way.

Hoping to leave in 5 days---this coming Sunday. I'll be heading into Kansas and commencing my stays at KOAs along the way. The only real stop planned for Kansas, besides the camp ground, is a visit to the Museum of Oz. Their spring hours are in effect, and I am looking forward to being there; Ruby Slippers, here I come. From there, I'll ride into the center of Oklahoma, seeking out Maternal Ancestral homelands, visiting the town my Grandmother (whom I never knew, and in fact my own Mother never knew until she discovered she was adopted when she was in her sixties) lived and raised her family, and the place where she is buried. I'll see the tombs of many, many relatives. There is even a slight chance that I can locate some living, long-lost family while there.

The family were pioneers; they secured their own homestead as participants of the land grab there in the 1870s, when folks could "claim" their own 160 acres from the US government. The area was "peopled" practically overnight. It's right on the Chisholm trail, and loaded with history. It was a crossroads for all; freed and runaway slaves, immigrants from all parts of Europe, Natives whose lives were being torn asunder as they were forced off of their own lands and marched to reservations (typically the worst tracts of land).

I will likely be in Kingfisher County for a couple of days, and then drive east into Arkansas, another State that I have never visited. Will cross the mighty Mississippi over land for the first time ever, entering Memphis. Looking forward to seeing the City and visiting Graceland!

The rest of the itinerary will be shared as I proceed. I'd love to hear from you, please do feel free to comment here, and encourage!