Oklahoma, Day One

Thursday was a good day. I slept well and awoke refreshed, then took my time getting "out the door", knowing that my drive time would be much less than yesterday's six hour-plus. No wonder I slept so well! Was able to take easy major highways just about the entire way. Mid day I stopped for a burger & fries, they called my order by my name, very sweet. Folks were very nice everywhere I stopped today, very gentle and friendly. The soft accent they have in these parts is quite nice. I drove about 3.5 hours and landed at "El Reno West" KOA, which is actually in Calumet. When I looked at the map it mentioned a nearby "Indian Museum and Trading Post", which sounded hopeful, as I am hoping to find a native drum in my travels.

Each KOA is eeerily similar, but vastly different. I was offered an easy pull-through spot right smack dab in the midst of 10 HUGE RVs. "NO thanks", said I, "have you got something quieter, more set back?" Sure, if you can back in, he smiled. Can I back in? Hell yes, it's only 21 feet long! Got one of the best spots in the place, under a cedar tree, hardly anyone nearby, with wooded land to explore just 15 feet away. I don't explore far when I am alone in unknown zones (I believe in playing it *very* safe when I am on my own)....but at least it's not all paved and packed in back here.

Slept quite well again, and had an easy morn, cleaning, organizing, sipping coffee at my picnic table. I knew that I did not have far to go, just down the road about 30 minutes to El Reno, to visit the grave of my maternal Grandmother, Mattie Callison Fox. Through my research on Ancestry.com and making inquiries to local historical record keepers, I knew which cemetery to visit. I even had a photo of her gravestone! Found the El Reno cemetery easily, and drove around a bit, seeking, until I saw an office, which was open, and inside was a man with a computer who looked Mattie up and showed me exactly where she was!

It's a bit of a complicated story. My Mother never knew she was not actually raised by her birth family until she was in her sixties. She had been trying to get a passport, and had difficulties, and it was all confusing, but she simply soldiered on. At some point, she began researching her genealogy and simultaneously (or almost) her actual birth Aunt passed away, and there was an inheritance, and a PI was hired to find her. Even this part is confusing, because my Mother never told us very much.

I had always, always been desperate to know more about my ancestors. Both of my parents were only children, I only ever knew my paternal grandmother, and I so longed for more information about who I was, who were my people, and where was I from? My parents were seemingly content to know little to nothing, and they had nothing to tell me.

My Mother did eventually go to Oklahoma, to attend a family reunion with her long-lost birth family. She mentioned it, but didn't share details. I was pregnant and then gave birth to my daughter, wrapped up in my own world, and didn't ask for or receive much info about the reunion; Mom kept it to herself. I found some stacks of papers and photos from this trip, and also of her genealogy research, in her home as we prepared to move her out of her condo and into an assisted living facility. Hungrily, I read every bit, but there were still so many questions!

Meanwhile, for the last 10 years or so, I had been doing a lot of internal and external work in honoring my ancestors through ceremony, meditation and on the web. Once I had access to my Mother's papers, it all came together, magically. A lifetime in the making--many lifetimes in the making, and suddenly--BAM.

I started to hatch a plan to get out to Oklahoma, where my Mother had gone, and to see, and to connect, in my own way. My husband and I had been discussing getting a camper van, and then a dear friend of mine in Colorado told us that he had one to sell! "it needs work, but I'll sell it to you at a great price". I flew out to Denver to retrieve it, and that whole story has been told here in previous posts.

Finally, after 3-plus weeks of me ill with flu, and the van getting even more work done to it than we expected, I hit the road. Within three days of the van's completion, finally, I was at the source! So, there i was, at the graveside of the grandmother i never knew by name, never knew where she lived, never knew anything about. Stunning. I stayed there for quite awhile, making offerings, saying prayers, singing, clearing, cleaning the space around, and staying still and silent in gratitude and awe. I left gifts, and thanked Mattie for her gifts, as well. She was buried along with her husband (not my grandfather), and her two sons, one who died at age one, and one who lived a very long life, buried without wife or children. Did he have children? Do I have cousins somewhere? More research....

It was a beautiful and truly awesome moment for me; tears of joy, tears of sadness, joy at being connected, and letting her know that I now know who she is, and honored and thanked her with my entire being. Joy, joy, joy. I drove back to my "camp" very happy indeed.